Mr Zombie Reviews: Reality TV

Mister Zombie is on the warpath, so to speak. What has gotten him all riled up today? Reality TV.

There has been a great horror unleashed on the world, a horror that is threatening every current zombie and every zombling to come.

No, it is not some new super weapon or infamous zombie hunter. This horror is reality TV.

Zombies want brains. Zombies need brains. However the stock of worth while brains is rapidly declining, threatening every zombie out there. No brains and zombies starve. There is something worse though; trying to survive on substandard brains.

You just have to look to the past, to the time of the 60’s when man went to the moon with slide rules and computers with less power than a modern wristwatch. Now there was a time to be a zombie, with brains fit to bursting with ideas and intelligence, and such delicacies to devour. There are some gourmets who still have samples of NASA scientists brains circa 1969. Just a sliver will set you back a whole lot, but the taste sensations is unlike anything, like rockets exploding on your taste buds.

Then it all started to go wrong and now we are dealing with reality TV. At first it was an amusing gimmick, but now it just goes on and on and on and on with stranger and stupider ideas. And people keep watching them as their brains atrophy, deteriorate, degenerate and waste away until they are such a bland and unused mass they are not worth the effort of eating – the zombie equivalent of celery.

We must fight this disease that rots the brains of humans. Should humanity degenerate much further then there is no hope for we zombies. We must encourage them to turn off those inane shows and at least attempt to spark some intellectual responses in their under-used minds; get them reading books – and decent books too – or anything else that may spur something resembling thoughts.

It is not for them we do this, but for ourselves; a world filled with bland tasteless brains is a horror not worth contemplating. If it continues on the way it is going I shall be forced to breed dolphins to increase their intelligence – most are smarter than your average human nowadays anyway.


~ by qorvus on August 11, 2009.

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